A Silent Echo
by ShaymieTehShaymin
Summary: Philip Hamilton has spent his entire life being known only as the son of New York's most famous lawyer and Broadway's hottest star. Now seventeen years old, he's ready to get out of his parents' shadow and make a name for himself. When certain people from his parents' past show up, he soon learns that everything isn't simple as it seems. *Sequel to A Silent Voice*
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there, my lovelies! Welcome to the long-awaited sequel! I've been so excited for this since I've had so many things planned! I have no schedule for this story because I don't want to burn myself out or anything. Don't really have much to say because I'm really tired and can't think of words right now. I hope you lovelies are ready for this journey! ~Shaymie**

* * *

 _Philip_

I hit the snooze button on my alarm and groaned as I crawled out of my cocoon of blankets. Today was the last day of summer, and I couldn't even spend it with my friends. Mom and Dad were picking up Uncle Gil from the airport, which meant that I was stuck babysitting. Aunt Peggy would have gone with them, but she was too busy managing both Uncle Gil's restaurant and her hair salon.

I dragged myself out of bed and stumbled towards the bathroom. I washed my face and brushed through my hair. I was the only person in this house with such wild and curly hair. Clover and Finn liked to joke that I was a long-lost Laurens sibling. We looked so similar, people were convinced my mother had cheated on my dad with Uncle John.

As if. My parents were ridiculously in love with each other. Like, sickeningly so. They were one of the few couples I knew had been together since high school. Their love was the sappy kind that was in those teen movies. They weren't just husband and wife. They were soulmates. How else could they have fallen in love after only knowing each other for a few days? It was because of them that Rachel believed so firmly in the idea of love at first sight.

I quickly got ready and made my way downstairs. As I expected, my parents were the only ones awake. Dad was leaned over his laptop, his fingers flying across the keyboard. A cup of coffee sat forgotten next to him. He seemed to run primarily on caffeine. He would probably forget to eat if Mom didn't remind him to. He was a bit of a workaholic. Mom shook her head and sighed.

"Al, we have to go," she murmured, putting her hand over his. He looked up at her, a childish pout on his face. She rolled her eyes and leaned over to whisper something in his ear, a sly grin on her face. Whatever she said to him was enough to make him slam his laptop shut and dart out the door. Mom snorted and looked at me. "We'll be back in a few hours, okay? Try to not let your siblings completely ruin the house, okay?"

"I'll try my best." Mom grinned and followed after Dad with a bit of a hop in her step. I don't even want to know what they were planning on doing, but I hoped it didn't result in me getting any more siblings. Five was enough, thank you very much. I yawned and filled Buck's food bowl. I had no idea where he was, but if I had to bet, he was probably in the twins' room. He loved to eat whatever food they dropped on their floor. The worst thing I've seen in there is a whole bowl of popcorn.

I killed the next hour by tidying up around the house. Knowing Mom, she was going to invite Uncle Gil and my cousins over and she'd kill me if the house was a mess. My fingers froze over the puzzle AJ and Harmony had been working on. I didn't want to disturb it, especially since they were almost done with it. I wasn't in the mood to deal with Harmony's tantrum. Just the other day she threw a cup at the wall because she wasn't allowed to eat Buck's food.

I poked my head into AJ and Will's room, since they were the closest to the living room. Their room was, as usual, a mess. Legos and science magazines littered the floor. I sighed and closed the door. I wasn't going to clean up their mess. AJ was very particular about how his things were put up. He refused to let Mom anywhere near his science kits. I closed the door and headed towards the twins' room.

Their room was a fluffy pile of stuffed animals and pillows. Just as I thought, Buck was here, lying near their pillow fort as if he was keeping watch. The twins were asleep inside the fort and didn't even budge when I put a blanket over them. I scratched Buck behind the ear and left their room, nearly jumping out of my skin when I saw Rachel standing outside the door. She blinked when she saw me and smiled.

"Good morning, Pip! Did Mom and Dad leave already?" I couldn't help but smile at her energy. My sister was a ball of sunshine. I don't think there's a single mean bone in her body. Dad said she reminded him of Mom when she was a teenager. It made sense, since Rach was almost an exact copy of our mother, even down to the freckles.

"They left an hour ago."

"Have you eaten breakfast yet?" Shit! I knew I forgot something. I was so busy with cleaning, I didn't even think about cooking breakfast for everyone else, let alone myself. Rachel's smile melted into a frown as I walked past her to the kitchen. Her quiet voice floated after me. "Philip, did you forget your medicine again?"

"I ran out. I was going to tell Mom I needed a refill but I... forgot. Again." Rachel's brows furrowed as I rummaged through the fridge. What was something I could make quickly with the least chance of a fire? Pancakes? Clover had shown me how to use the griddle, so that could work-

"Breathe, Philip. It's alright." Rachel grabbed my hand and pulled me over to a seat. I took deep breaths and looked at my sister. She smiled and kissed my cheek. "I'll take care of breakfast, okay? You just sit and relax."

"Rach-"

"Hush! You're supposed to be relaxing. I don't want you to have a heart attack or something."

I watched as my sister started to gather ingredients for breakfast. I had no idea what she was going to make, but it was sure to be delicious. She was a better cook than me. She had helped out at Uncle Gil's restaurant over the summer. As she was getting started cooking, our younger siblings started leaving their rooms. First the twins (and Buck, who immediately walked over to his food bowl), then AJ and Will. Melody climbed into the chair next to me and pulled my sleeve. I looked down at her curiously.

"Buck chewed on Mr. Bun Bun again," she frowned, her eyes filling with tears. Mr. Bun Bun was her favorite stuffed animal. Buck chewed on him so much, he was basically patchwork at this point. Mom had to keep sewing him back together every week.

"Mom will be home soon, Mel. She'll make him feel all better, okay?"

She sniffled and nodded. I ruffled her hair and kissed her head. It felt like every day there was some new crisis in our house. If Melody's stuffed animals weren't getting chewed up, AJ's science kit was on fire, or Will was missing a critical piece to his Lego set. Life in the Hamilton house was hectic, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again, my lovelies! Have I mentioned how excited I am to be writing this sequel? Part of me expects for this to be like the first story, where I pump out chapters in my hype and then slowly chill out. So like... Be prepared for the possibility of that happening. And while I'm here, let me just say... I already love Bex, they are a very pure bean and deserve the world. I hope you lovelies enjoy this chapter! ~Shaymie**

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It felt like no matter where I went, I couldn't escape my parents. I couldn't walk down the street without seeing my mom's face plastered on a billboard somewhere, or someone was talking about her autobiography that she had just released. I couldn't go to school without my teachers asking me what I was planning to study in college and if I was planning on being a lawyer like my father. It felt like all the pressure was on me since I was the oldest and everyone had these huge expectations for me.

I was only a week into the school year and I already wanted it to be over. I barely had any classes with my friends, and the people I _did_ have classes with only wanted to talk to me because they thought Mom could help get them famous somehow. Eacker was determined to get on my nerves. He wouldn't stop making rude comments about Mom and her autobiography. I hadn't read it yet since she didn't want me or Rachel to read it until she had time to talk to us about it. All I knew was that she's had a very hard life.

"I've been thinking of cutting my hair," Bex was murmuring as she stabbed into her salad with a plastic fork. She was sitting so close to Rachel, they were practically on top of each other. They were so close, everyone assumed they were dating. Tucker wanted them to start dating already. He was tired of hearing his twin obsess over my sister.

"But your hair looks so pretty long!" Rachel fingered some of Bex's long auburn curls, oblivious to the effect she was having on her best friend. Bex's face was scarlet. She pouted as she looked up at Bex. "I guess I can't tell you what to do with it, though. I'm sure you'll look pretty no matter what."

"I-I figured it would help me feel better on those days when I don't really feel like a girl." Bex stammered through the sentence. Rachel smiled and turned back to her food. Bex let out a deep breath in relief and visibly relaxed. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and took it out after making sure no teachers were around. They loved to confiscate our phones any chance they got. Dad had texted me, which was... strange. He never texted us during the school day. I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I sighed and opened the text.

Mom was in the hospital. He didn't tell me _why_ she was in the hospital, but he did mention that Clover was on her way to pick me, Rachel, and Finn up and take us home. I didn't want to go home. I wanted to see my mother. I looked over at Rachel, who was playing with her fruit salad and humming under her breath. She looked up at me curiously.

"What's up, Pippy?" she asked as I started gathering our things. If this wasn't something serious, I'd tell her not to call me that at school. I grabbed her hand and pulled her up from her seat. Tucker and Bex shared a nervous glance.

"I'll tell you when we find Finn," I whispered into my sister's ear. She frowned and followed me out of the cafeteria. I kept ahold of her hand as I led us to the art room. He spent every free moment he had in there. He wasn't much of a people person. Harmony spent a few months convinced he was a ghost because we rarely saw him.

Sure enough, our cousin was the only person in the art room. He was sitting on a desk, headphones over his ears and a sketchbook clutched tightly in his hands. The lights were off, the only light in the room coming from the flashlight on his phone. Rachel let go of my hand and walked over to him quietly. He looked up at her and took his headphones off.

"R-Rachel, Pip... I d-didn't hear you come in. What's up?" His cheeks flushed as he stuttered. He had been going to speech therapy to help him with it, but it was slow progress. Part of the reason he didn't speak much was because he hated how much he stuttered. I frowned, trying to think of a way to explain what was going on without freaking them out. It was hard to do so when I didn't know much of what had happened. Thankfully, I didn't have to explain since an announcement rang throughout the school, calling the three of us to the front office. I walked out of the room and gestured for them to follow. The art room wasn't too far from the office.

"Hey, guys," Clover greeted us with a wave and twirled her keys around her finger. "I already signed y'all out, so we should be good to go."

"Why are we leaving school early? Dad said we should only leave for emergencies. Did something bad happen?" Rachel's eyes were glimmering with tears as we walked out to the parking lot. Clover tensed up, her shoulders stiff. I didn't know if that was her reaction to my sister's tears or her reaction to what had happened. She couldn't really handle emotions that well.

"Something happened at Aunt Lo's book signing. Some creep tried talking to her and she freaked out. It's all over Twitter. The staff at the signing got about a million videos, but nobody wanted to fucking _help_ her." Rachel gasped at our cousin's furious tone and sniffled as she got in the backseat of the car. I joined her. I didn't want to sit anywhere near Clover while she was angry like this. I buckled us into the car and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Clover was notoriously reckless with her driving when she was mad.

"Are we going to go see her?" Rachel asked, wiping her tears away with her sleeve. Clover pursed her lips and glanced back at us. I know Dad had told her to take us home, but I didn't understand why. He knew how worried Rachel got when something happened to any of us. She freaked over any little thing. Waiting around at home was going to drive her insane.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again, my lovelies! I don't really have much to say since I'm kinda bummed out. Today hasn't exactly gone like I'd planned it and so I decided to post this chapter so that maybe it could at least make someone else's day a little bit better. I'll see y'all soon. ~Shaymie**

* * *

Rachel was a stress baker. Whenever anything remotely bad happened, she broke out the apron and started making whatever popped into her head. She was currently on her second tray of cookies and mixing a bowl of cake batter. The twins were sat in front of the TV, munching on chocolate chip cookies and watching some dumb cartoon. AJ and Will had run off to their room. Clover hadn't told them about what was going on, and the only one who really bothered to ask questions was AJ. The others didn't really care _why_ they left school early, they were just happy that they did.

"Why won't Dad answer his phone?" Rachel scowled as she pulled out the tray of cookies and set them out to cool. Her face was slick with sweat. She hadn't left the kitchen since we had gotten home. I grabbed her mug from the shelf (she had made it herself at camp) and poured her a cup of tea once the kettle went off. She pouted when I grabbed her by the shoulders and led her into the living room. If I didn't force her to relax, she would get herself worked up into a frenzy.

Melody was scribbling in her butterfly notebook as I sat Rachel sat on the couch between her and Harmony. I kissed my sisters' foreheads and sat down in an armchair. Buck walked over to me and set his head on my lap. I pet him and pulled my phone from my pocket. It _was_ worrying that Dad hasn't called or texted. What if something had happened to Mom and that's why he wasn't answering? What if her panic attack had turned into a heart attack and the doctors had to operate on her?

On a whim, I decided to check Twitter. One of the top trends was Mom's name, paired with a bunch of videos. Nobody had gotten a good look at the guy's face, but whoever it was must be pretty terrible for her to have such a reaction. I didn't even want to know what the video _sounded_ like. She was screaming and sobbing, her face bright red as her chest heaved. Aunt Darcy put a hand on her arm, and that set her off even more. She started scratching and slapping, even drawing blood from her sister as she lashed out. I had to stop the video there. I don't think I could take any more.

I heard something fall to the ground and looked over at the couch. Melody had dropped her notebook on the ground and ran over to the window excitedly, pulling Harmony with her. Rachel ignored them and stared down at her phone, a smile on her face. Her fingers were flying over the keyboard as she texted someone. I bet it was Bex. She was the only person who could make my sister smile like that.

"What are you two looking at?" I asked, getting up from my seat. Harmony giggled and ran to the front door, pulling it open with a flourish. Rachel looked up as a burst of cold air filled the living room. I opened my mouth to tell Harmony to shut the door (though I knew there was a very big chance she wouldn't do it because she was ridiculously stubborn) when Dad walked in, carrying Mom in his arms. She was asleep, her head resting peacefully against his chest. Dad looked even more exhausted than normal and went upstairs without a word.

* * *

Bex and Tucker stopped by a few hours after school ended. Rachel was stunned into silence by Bex's new haircut, her cheeks pinker than I'd ever seen them. Our dear friend's hair was now styled into a fashionable pixie cut. Tucker snorted at the look of awe on my sister's face. Looks like Bex isn't the only one with a crush. Seeing the two of them fawn over each other was going to be hilarious.

"I-I'm going to get us some snacks," Rachel stammered, scurrying off to the kitchen. Tucker and Bex shrugged off their jackets and hung them up. Bex's face was flushed as she looked at her reflection in the tiny mirror Rachel had bought her. She fluffed her hair and glanced towards the kitchen nervously. Tucker sighed and pulled me aside.

"How's your mom doing?" he asked in a hushed whisper. "Bex and I heard about what happened. Is she alright?"

"I... don't know," I admitted. For all I knew, Mom was still asleep upstairs. Dad only came downstairs earlier to give us money to order a pizza and went straight back to his office to "handle important business". I had a feeling that whatever it was, it was about Mom. I passed by his office earlier and heard him yelling about a lawsuit and a restraining order. Sure, he was passionate about his work, but Mom was the only person he got _that_ fired up about. I could practically see him tugging at his hair. He had a habit of doing that when he was stressed.

"She'll be fine. She's strong," Bex piped up with a grin. She admired my mother. She was one of the first people to buy her autobiography. I frowned. Strong. _Strong_. I'd overheard Mom once, telling Aunt Darcy about how much she hated that word. How she felt it didn't apply to herself at all.

" _I'm stubborn or difficult, maybe. But never strong. That word's reserved for... better people than me."_

Rachel walked into the room with what may be the last remaining plate of cookies from her bake-fest today. The kids had devoured all the rest of them before running off to their rooms. I hadn't seen them in hours and I couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. They were either passed out from a sugar overdose or planning something. It was never a good thing when the Hamilton kids got together for a prank. Between AJ's brains, Will's diversion skills, and the twins' ability to fit into nearly every small space in the house, nobody was safe. Luckily Halloween was still about a month away, but that wouldn't stop them from brainstorming ideas.

"Hey Rach, what do you think of my new haircut?" Bex asked as Rachel set down the cookies. Rachel had been avoiding looking at her until now. She looked at her and let out a small squeak, her cheeks flaming up again.

"It's, um... Very out of your face? And nice and curly..." Rachel reached out a hand and pet the top of Bex's hair. "It's really soft... And you're really pretty."

The room was silent as the two stared at each other, mesmerized. I half-expected them to kiss at some point. The only thing to break the spell was the sound of footsteps coming from the stairs. That was all it took for Rachel and Bex to separate from each other, their faces bright red. We turned towards the stairs as Mom walked down them, holding on tightly to Buck's collar. Ever since the car accident all those years ago, she had trouble going up and down stairs sometimes.

I noticed that she had changed out of her wrinkled clothes into something a bit more casual. It had been awhile since I'd seen my mother in a hoodie and sweatpants. She had been so busy with book stuff lately I had gotten used to seeing her dressed in fancy suits. She rubbed her eyes as she made it to the bottom stair and yawned.

"How are you feeling, Mom?" Rachel asked, her previous embarrassment forgotten. Mom blinked and looked around the room sleepily.

"I'm just a little bit tired. Oh, I didn't know you two were here!" She smiled warmly at Bex and Tucker and pet Buck's head. It was clear she didn't want to talk about what had happened at her book signing. I wasn't going to push her to talk about it. She'd tell us when she was ready. I hope. My parents aren't the kind of people to keep secrets, but they were reluctant to open up to us most of the time.

I still didn't know what had caused the scar on her stomach. She spent years refusing to wear a two-piece bathing suit until Dad suggested she get a tattoo around it. I didn't know the meaning behind the semicolon tattoo on her right wrist, or the words "you will be found" on her left. And I definitely didn't understand why she refused to even go outside on Valentine's Day. The only time she's ever been to one of Uncle Colton's birthday parties is when he decided to have it at our house.

I could understand Mom not telling the younger kids about anything that could have hurt her. They would probably be terrified. But she could talk to me or Rachel about it. We weren't little kids anymore. I was almost an adult, and Rachel wasn't as fragile as she seemed. Most of the time she was the one to hold everyone together. We could handle it. Did our parents just not trust us?

"I should probably get dinner started," Mom murmured, looking at the clock. It was already past five. Rachel shook her head and pulled out the money Dad had given us.

"Dad said we could order pizza. He didn't want you to tire yourself out when you woke up." Mom rolled her eyes and sighed. She didn't like when Dad worried about her. The only arguments I had ever heard them have were either Mom trying to get Dad to take a break or vice versa. My parents really were meant for each other.

"I'm going to take Buck for a walk, then." Mom grabbed Buck's leash and attached it to his collar. Rachel opened her mouth to object, but snapped it shut when Bex grabbed her hand and shook her head. It was clear that Mom wanted some time to herself. I couldn't imagine what it was like to have people with cameras watching your every move. To have them record your breakdown must be mortifying.

Nobody said a word as Mom walked out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello again, my lovelies! I'm back with another chapter which honestly may be my last for a bit. I'm supposed to be moving sometime this week but I don't really know** ** _where_** **I'm moving to. I'll probably be staying with my cousin for a bit and she doesn't have cable or internet. I'll still be writing, of course, but I won't be able to post chapters for a bit. Probably. I don't really know yet. I hope you lovelies enjoy the chapter and I'll see you whenever! ~Shaymie**

* * *

"Hey Phil, I think Eacker's checking out your sister." I turned to look at what Richard was pointing at. Rachel was across the library, her hands full of posters for homecoming. She was in practically every extracurricular at this school. Maybe that was why she was so popular. Everyone at school wanted to date her. I didn't like how so much attention was always pinned on my sister, especially since she was only fifteen and still so... _naive_. She saw good in everyone, no matter how terrible they were.

"Phil, remember what my mom told you about fighting," Richard said calmly as I stood up from the table, our homework forgotten. Eacker had walked over to Rachel, a cocky little grin on his face. I bit my lip. Aunt Angelica would kill me if she found out I had been in another fight. And Dad had warned me to not do anything that could stress Mom out. She had been having a rough time since the incident at the bookstore. Everywhere she went, she looked around anxiously as if she was waiting for someone to pop out and attack her at any moment.

"Rich, have you forgotten the kind of asshole Eacker is? I don't want him anywhere near my sister." Eacker was known for breaking hearts, and it was obvious he just wanted Rachel to be another notch in his bedpost. She deserved far better than that. I didn't want to be that asshole older brother who dictated who his sister dated, but Eacker was off-limits. He wasn't good for her, period.

I walked over to a random shelf near them and pretended to examine a poster for homecoming. I had seen them about a hundred times already. Rachel designed them herself. She was in practically every extracurricular activity at this school. I don't know how she has the time for it all. She stayed after school every day. If I didn't walk her home, Finn, Georges, or Richard did. Our cousins were just as protective of her as I was.

"Rachel, I was wondering if you would maybe like to go to homecoming with me?" Eacker asked, smiling down at my sister. From this angle, I could tell that he was trying to look down her dress. I felt my hands start to shake and took deep breaths. If I got into another fight, Mom was going to sign me up for anger management classes, and that was the _last_ thing I wanted.

"What?" Rachel spluttered, her face heating up. "I, um..."

"You've rejected just about every single guy at this school, and I know the reason why. You've been waiting for the perfect guy to sweep you off your feet, right?"

"Not really-"

"Rachel Hamilton, let me take you to homecoming and I promise you'll have the best night of your life." I shuddered as he grabbed my sister's hand and kissed her knuckles. Damn, he was stubborn. Couldn't he see that Rachel wasn't interested? She looked extremely uncomfortable, her grip on the posters tightening.

"George, I don't want to go to homecoming with you. I already have plans."

"Like what? Going out with _Rebecca_?" He spat out Bex's name with a sneer, his upper lip curling. Rachel blushed, her gaze turning to the floor. Eacker glared down at her. "Everyone's right, you really are nothing but a dirty lesbian."

Rachel frowned as he stormed away, pushing his way past Richard. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before hanging the last of the posters up. I put earbuds in my ears and buried my nose in a book as she approached. I didn't want her to know that I had been eavesdropping. Her shoulders were trembling slightly, and I could see tears forming in her eyes. I shoved the book back onto the shelf and walked over to her.

"Hey, Pippy," she murmured, wiping at her tears with her sweater. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you so we can walk home."

"You didn't have to do that. I was going to go dress shopping with everyone." Rachel gasped excitedly and clapped her hands together. "You should come with us! You need a tux for homecoming, don't you?"

"I'm not having my little sister pick out my tux. I'll just go with Finn and Tucker sometime this week." Rachel sighed dramatically as she grabbed her backpack from a nearby table and slung it over her shoulder. She pouted up at me and gave me her infamous puppy dog eyes. Both her and Mom used them to get what they wanted. I stood my ground and ruffled my sister's hair.

"Puppy dog eyes won't work this time, short stuff. I'll see you at home, okay?" Rachel nodded sadly, a dejected look on her face. I gave her a reassuring smile and left the library. Eacker wasn't anywhere to be found. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not. I didn't know what I would do if I saw him. Anyone that made my sister cry deserved a beating. I couldn't understand how anyone could hurt her when she was nothing but nice to them. She didn't have a mean bone in her body.

I pulled my hood over my head as I left the school. Ever since Mom's freakout, people would come up to me with cameras and microphones, asking how I felt about it. I could hide my face easily and most of the time get by unnoticed. It was a bit harder for Rachel, since she literally looked like a perfect clone of Mom. Thankfully, she was so short that people tended to gloss over her.

We lived pretty close to the school, so I didn't have to walk very far. The kids were all in the front yard. Will and the twins were playing with Buck, their clothes dirtied by mud and grass. Harmony was missing a shoe. One of Melody's pigtails was down. AJ was sitting under the big tree in the yard with Finn, a sketchbook between them. They were so into it that they didn't even look up at me when I passed by.

The house was calm for once, the only sound coming from the piano in the den. The playing was awkward and out of time. Was Mom trying to write a new song? I set my backpack down and walked to the back of the house, a smile coming across my face. Mom and Dad were sitting together on the piano bench. Dad looked frustrated. Mom looked amused.

"We haven't even been practicing for an hour, Al. Don't tell me you're already giving up."

"I'm not _giving up_. I just think that I've worked hard enough to warrant a break." Dad got up from the piano and stretched. He kissed the top of Mom's head and walked over to his desk. The den was basically his second office. Mom made him do his work down here sometimes so he didn't spend all his time cooped up alone. He had a habit of working himself too hard. He and Mom both did. The only difference was that Mom knew when to stop. If it wasn't for her, Dad would probably work himself to death.

"Philip, your father's an absolute child." Mom stuck her tongue out at Dad and got up from the bench with a yawn. "I'm going to get dinner started. I know the kids are going to be starving when they come in."

"You look tired, Mom. Is everything alright?"

Mom smiled and nodded before leaving the room. Dad frowned as she left. Something was going on here, and I was determined to get to the bottom of it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello again, my lovelies! I honestly don't know what's going on with my life now and I don't want to bore you with the details. But for now I still have internet and that's all that matters. Don't know how long that'll last, so just... Have this chapter and don't keep your hopes up for consistent updates because my life is a mess and I'm honestly just real confused. If for some reason y'all want to follow the deterioration of my life, hit me up on Tumblr at sincerely-shaymie. There's a lot of screaming involved. I'll see you guys whenever! ~Shaymie**

* * *

 _Rachel_

We had a substitute for drama this week, which meant that our only assignment was to watch a movie and write an essay on it. I just wish that the movie we had to watch wasn't the one that my mother was in. I could feel everyone's eyes burning into me as the opening scene of Spring Awakening played. I kept my gaze locked on the screen. The movie was a few years away from being a decade old, but my mother looked like she hadn't aged a day.

I looked down as a note landed on my desk. I looked around to try and see who threw it, but everyone was staring straight ahead. There was no indication on who did it. The teacher didn't seem to notice anything. I eyed the tiny slip of paper, folded neatly into fourths. I didn't have any friends in this class. I couldn't think of anyone who would go so far as to pass a note to me. Who even did that anymore? I grabbed the note and unfolded it, my heart dropping at what was written on it.

 _You're nothing but a dirty fucking dyke._ My vision grew blurry with tears. I should have known that saying no to George Eacker would have negative consequences. He was the quarterback of the football team and one of the most popular guys in school. Everyone did what he said. If he told them to hate someone, they would blindly follow his lead. But I never thought that I'd be his latest target. Why was he so angry about me rejecting him? There were a bunch of other girls at this school, and they were far prettier than me. He could date any of them, so why was he so hung up on me?

I darted out of the room the second the bell rang, the offending note clutched tightly in my hand. Luckily drama was the last class of the day. I didn't have any after school activities because homecoming was tonight. Mary Jefferson, head of the homecoming committee and student council president, told me to spend the night getting ready. She said I had done enough work planning the decorations and refreshments.

Georges and Marie were waiting for me by the front doors of the school. I smiled at my cousins and tucked the note into my back pocket. They didn't need to know about it. If I told them, then they would tell Philip and he'd either tell Dad or try to handle it himself. I hated the idea of both of those things. Besides, Dad was always so busy. I didn't want to bother him just because someone had written a mean note about me.

"Your hair looks so cute!" Marie squealed as I approached. I felt my cheeks flush at the compliment. I had gotten my hair trimmed at Aunt Peggy's salon. Bex had suggested I get bangs so that people would stop confusing me for my mother, so I got that done too. I looked around for Philip. He was supposed to walk home with us. I was going to help him get ready by painting his nails. It had become a bit of a bonding tradition for us.

"Are you trying to impress a certain someone?" Georges asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Ever since he had come back from summer vacation, he wouldn't stop pestering Philip and I about our love lives. Philip had been with a few people over the summer, but the relationships never lasted long. Dad called them summer flings. I didn't understand them. From what I knew, Philip still had a crush on Theo Burr. He got embarrassed whenever she was mentioned.

"I just wanted to get my hair done for homecoming," I flushed as Bex's face came into my mind. I was thankfully saved from any further embarrassment by Philip finally showing up, complaining about his last period teacher. He hadn't been paying attention in class, which led to him getting lectured and the teacher threatening to call home. I felt relieved that the focus was on Philip, but I noticed my cousins glancing over at me occasionally. I had a feeling they were going to bug me later.

* * *

"What happened to your dress?" I stammered out as Bex walked over to where Philip and I were hiding out in the corner of the gym. I had been trying to convince him to ask Theo for a dance, but Bex had taken up all my attention. She wasn't wearing the coral pink dress she had picked out at the mall. She was in a tux. And quite frankly, she looked breathtaking. Between her new haircut (which only drew my attention to her beautiful face) and this tux, I don't know how I'm going to survive the night.

"Stupid thing didn't cover my binder," Bex groaned as she slid into a chair. "I had to borrow one of Tuck's old tuxes and have Mom do some emergency fitting."

"You look nice, Bex," Philip said, taking a sip of punch. He smirked at me when she wasn't looking. He gestured to his cheeks and pointed at his tie, which was obnoxiously red. Was I blushing? I grabbed a mirror from my purse and looked at my reflection. Oh god, I looked like a tomato! I hope Bex doesn't notice. I couldn't imagine having to explain my flushed cheeks to her.

"Thanks Pip, I- What the hell is that bitch doing?" I looked up and frowned when I saw Martha Jefferson sauntering over to us, a tiny smirk on her face. Out of all the Jefferson siblings, she was definitely the meanest. I considered Peter and Mary my friends, but Martha was at most an acquaintance. For some reason, she _despised_ me. Bex thought it was because she was jealous of my boobs. Philip thinks she's jealous of all the attention guys give me, not that I want any of it.

"Rach, I think she has it out for you." Philip grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the chair. I stumbled a bit in my heels and gripped his shoulders for balance. I looked over at Martha again and saw that she was staring right at me, her eyes narrowed. Bex huffed and looped her arm with mine. She mentioned something about a date to Philip and steered me out of the gym. It wasn't until we had crossed the street that I finally managed to open my mouth and ask Bex what was going on.

"We're going on a date," she said, a catlike grin on her face. She looked down at me and stuck her tongue out. I was sure my face was crimson. "At least, that's what we're going to tell everyone if they ask why you left. I had to get you away from Martha. I can just tell she was going to be a bitter bitch."

"B-But I'm on the homecoming committee. Wouldn't it look bad if I'm not there?" If I was being honest, the idea of going on a date with Bex was exhilarating. If there was anyone I wanted my first date to be with, it was her. But the note I had gotten earlier terrified me. I didn't want her to get caught up in my mess. I didn't want anyone to hurt her.

"Would ice cream make you feel better about skipping out?" Bex stopped in front of the little ice cream shop near the school and smiled down at me. I sighed and relented. How could I say no to my best friend? Her smile grew wider as she opened the door and led us in. The shop was warm, cozy, and far better than homecoming. I didn't feel as if I had to look presentable here. I could finally just relax.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello again, my lovelies! It's been a bit since I've updated anything. I had a severe bout of writer's block which led to me hating myself and my depression worsening. And it's like really hot here and I can't find the energy to do much of anything. But I took a bit of a break, had some time with friends, and I'm back and ready to rumble! The moving situation is still a bit iffy and I might not have internet for awhile, so I may disappear again. Oops. But things can't really be helped. My life is a mess. I hope you lovelies enjoy this chapter and maybe leave me some nice words? It would really help. ~Shaymie**

* * *

 _Lorin_

I looked around the studio with a frown. Classes had ended hours ago. Darcy was still cleaning up the mess from Clover's glitter experiment. Sometimes I forgot that my niece is nineteen years old. She acted like more of a child than the kids, and _that's_ saying something. My gaze fell upon the small child huddled up in the corner with my youngest daughters. Suzy Clement's father was always late picking her up, but this was taking it to another level. He had never been _this_ late.

I looked up as the front door to the studio opened. Rachel and Bex strolled in, hand-in-hand. They had been practically inseparable since homecoming. Philip let it slip that the two of them had gone on a date. If it was anybody else, I knew that Alex would have gone into overprotective father mode. He had been dreading the day Rachel started dating. He was _terrified_ of it. He didn't want to see her get hurt. But she was with Bex, someone who was just as protective of our daughter as he was. No matter how much he disliked Mandy (though he had learned to like her over the years), he couldn't deny that Bex was pretty trustworthy.

"What happened here?" Rachel asked with a frown as she looked at Darcy, who was muttering angrily under her breath as she swept. Clover had run off almost immediately after setting off the glitter bomb with the excuse that she didn't want to be late for her class. I knew for a fact that she couldn't care less about being on time for class. She just wanted to escape her mother's rage.

"Your cousin went crazy with glitter," I sighed. Rachel nodded. She knew just how glitter-crazy Clover was. Every arts and crafts project Clover had ever made was covered in glitter. Rachel gave me and Bex quick pecks on the cheek and left for the changing rooms. She was so busy that the only time she could find to come to the studio was after all the classes were over. I'd never understand how a fifteen year old could have so much to do.

Harmony and Melody ran over to me, dragging Suzy along with them. Glitter floated to the ground with every step they took. I sighed. Getting them cleaned up was going to be a nightmare. My house was going to be sparkling for months. I briefly wondered if glitter was bad for dogs. Buck liked to eat anything that fell to the floor, which led to the twins "accidentally" spilling pieces of their dinner every other night.

"Are you and Rachie dating?" Harmony blurted out, looking up at Bex with narrowed eyes. Melody blinked curiously, sucking on her thumb. She was the less vocal of the twins and preferred to let her older sister do all the talking. It was clear that Harmony took after her father, while Melody was more like me when I was younger. I've lost track of how many of my fights Darcy had fought for me.

"I... I, uh..." Bex stammered, her face flushing almost as red as her hair. I looked up at her with furrowed eyebrows. Had she and Rachel not made things official yet? I had assumed they were already dating. I mean, they were always together. I had caught glimpses of them sharing shy glances and small kisses when they thought nobody was around. They were completely head over heels for each other. I knew that Bex has always had a crush on my daughter. It was pretty obvious. But Rachel was as oblivious as me. It had taken years for her to even notice and return those feelings.

"Mrs. Hamilton, when is my daddy coming to get me?" Suzy asked shyly, turning her sweet gaze towards me. She looked near tears. This was ridiculous. Her father had no reason for being so late. If he was always constantly late, he should at least plan for someone else to pick up his daughter. The poor child had been here for hours. I forced a smile onto my face and grabbed Suzy's hand. I was going to give her father another call in the office and hope that he picked up this time. I didn't want to leave her alone. She looked pretty terrified.

I closed the office door behind us and dialed the number that I was getting close to committing to memory. Suzy sat down in a beanbag chair, a little giggle escaping her as she sunk into it. I managed a small smile and thought about how I'd confront her father if he answered. No matter how pissed I was, I knew that I had to keep things professional. I couldn't lose my temper. Unfortunately, it was hard _not_ to get a little bit irritated when nobody picked up the phone. I left yet another message and hung up the phone with a bit more force than I intended to.

"Are you mad at Daddy?" Suzy asked. I turned to look at her and saw that she was now standing, her thin little arms wrapped around her body. She was so small... She was the same age as the twins, but she didn't look it. I shook my head and walked over to the mini-fridge in the corner of the room. I grabbed a fruit cup and a water bottle and offered it to Suzy. I knew she had to be hungry. She had been here for hours.

"Are you hungry, Suzy?" I knelt in front of her and smiled. She eyed the fruit cup for a few moments, her dark eyes anxious. She took a trembling breath and nodded before accepting it. I grabbed a plastic spoon from a drawer and handed it to her. Something gave me the feeling that she didn't get to eat much at home. There was no other reason for a child to be so small and fragile.

"T-Thank you..." Suzy's voice was quiet, almost inaudible, as she settled back into the beanbag. I caught a glimmer of tears shining in her eyes and frowned. Something was going on with her, and I was determined to get to the bottom of it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Guess who's back? Back again? It's your local lil' gremlin, back with another chapter! I don't really have much to say except I hope that you lovelies enjoy it! ~Shaymie**

* * *

 _Rachel_

"Rachie, Rachie, can we bring those little fruit candies?" Harmony tugged on my skirt excitedly. I nearly stumbled on the stool I was standing on. Thankfully the box of fruit snacks was on a low enough shelf. Philip wouldn't have let me hear the end of it if I needed his help to reach it. It was bad enough that I had to stand on a _stool_. Why did Mom have to curse me with such a short height?

Mom and Dad had some kind of business meeting today. I had come up with the idea of a picnic at the park with Buck and the kids. It would get them out of the house so that our parents could handle their business. I had no idea what they were going to be doing, but I'd caught a hint of their conversation when I passed by Dad's office. They had mentioned someone named James Reynolds and a restraining order. I didn't mention any of what I'd heard to Philip. I know what he's like. He would do everything possible to find out just _who_ James Reynolds was.

"Can we bring food for the birds?" Melody asked shyly as Harmony snatched up the box of fruit snacks and emptied the contents into my backpack. I winced. I was going to have to reorganize everything in it. I stepped down from the stool and smiled down at Melody. She had been obsessed with birds ever since she caught a glimpse of a show on the nature channel. Her obsession only grew stronger when she discovered that Target sold birdhouses. My room was filled with dozens of them. We spent our weekends together painting birdhouses.

"I already have their food packed up nice and safe," I said soothingly, patting the side pocket of my backpack. Melody grinned and enveloped me in a tight hug. I blinked in surprise, but wrapped my arms around her. She never really showed physical affection much. She preferred to show her love for us by drawing us pictures or leaving gifts. Both Melody and Will were the more soft-spoken of us.

Melody released me from her death grip and ran off to the living room. I got to work organizing our lunches. The kids would never forgive me if I gave them the wrong thing for lunch. They were the pickiest bunch of kids I had ever known. Tuna sandwich for AJ, ham and cheese for Will, peanut butter and banana for Melody, and PB&J for Harmony. I labelled the sandwiches accordingly and grabbed the tupperware from the fridge that held leftovers from last night. Philip and I were going to have some of Mom's famous pasta for lunch.

"Got anything in there for me?" I looked up at the sound of Uncle Colton's voice and smiled. He had offered to drive us to the park, saying that he needed to get out of his apartment anyway. He had been a little bit depressed since his boyfriend broke up with him. He had a smile on his face, but I could see a hint of sadness in his eyes. He was still having a bit of trouble getting over the breakup. Mom fussed over him constantly and took the time to bring him homemade lunches and dinners so he wasn't surviving solely on takeout.

"I can make you something if you want, unless you want some of Mom's pasta-" Uncle Colton cut me off with a laugh and shook his head. I frowned. If he was going to the trouble of taking us to the park, the least I could do was make him something for lunch.

"I'm fine, Rach. I stopped by Gil's restaurant and had a pretty big breakfast." Uncle Colton draped his arm around my shoulder and grinned down at me. I knew that look anywhere. That was his 'I'm-about-to-gossip' look. It never led to anything good. "So, Rach, I heard you've started dating a certain dazzling little redhead."

"W-We're not dating!" I spluttered, ducking out from underneath his arm. I was sure my face was as red as Bex's hair. Uncle Colton raised a freshly plucked eyebrow. I sighed and took a deep breath. "Uncle Cole, I'm not dating Bex. We don't... know what we are yet. We haven't made it official or anything."

"Have you kissed yet?" My cheeks flamed as I thought of the first kiss Bex and I shared. It was after she had dropped me off after our "date", which didn't feel fake at all. I think as the night went on, we let ourselves forget that the only reason it had even happened was because Philip wanted to get me away from Martha Jefferson. I had given Bex her jacket back-she had let me wear it since it was so cold outside- and she just leaned forward and kissed me. It was only for a brief moment, but it felt like an eternity. After that, we shared kisses whenever we could. My lips tingled at the memory.

"That look tells me everything I need to know," Uncle Colton said with a smirk. He looked like he was about to say something else, but clamped his mouth shut as he looked behind me. I blinked in confusion and turned around, smiling at my father. He and Uncle Colton had never really gotten along that well. Uncle Colton thought Mom could do better. Dad gave Uncle Colton a nod of acknowledgement and went straight to the coffee maker.

"Morning, Dad!" I skipped over to him and kissed his cheek. He smiled tiredly at me. I frowned at the shadows underneath his eyes. He was always so tired... Both him and Mom seemed to never sleep, relying on tea and coffee to help them through the day. There's no way that could be healthy.

"You know you don't have to take the kids out today," Dad yawned and gripped his mug tightly. It had a picture of a cartoon lion on it. Mom had bought it for him when they were in high school. It was probably his most precious treasure. I looked up at him and frowned. He ruffled my hair with a tired chuckle. "You already do so much for everyone, Rachel. You deserve a day off."

"But I thought you had important business to handle." Dad said that some of his co-workers were coming by the house today for work. I don't know what Mom would have to do with lawyer work. I huffed and fixed my hair. "Besides, I already promised the kids I'd take them out. I got lunch packed and everything."

"You have to promise me you'll have some fun, too, sweetie. I don't want you just sitting aside playing nurse." Dad looked down at me sternly. I rolled my eyes and nodded. My parents were always worried that I didn't act my age. Aunt Darcy called me an adult in a fifteen year-old's body. Is it so bad that I just happen to like cooking and cleaning and making sure that my siblings don't cause too much trouble? I just want to take some of the stress away from Mom and Dad.

"We'd better get going," Uncle Colton murmured, glancing over towards the living room. "If we don't hurry, Will and the twins are going to block the dog up in Legos."

"Love you, Dad!" I gave him a quick hug and grabbed my backpack. He returned the hug and kissed my forehead.

"Love you too, ladybug."


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello again, my lovelies! I'm back with yet another chapter! Things are going to start to pick up a bit from here, and I'm excited. I've had so many ideas planned and I'm excited to put them in motion. Hopefully y'all enjoy the ride (and maybe tell me what you think or if you have any ideas for some fluffy stuff I could write between the angst). I'll see you lovelies next time! ~Shaymie**

* * *

"I'm too old for this shit," Uncle Coltron grumbled as Buck tugged on the leash excitedly, pulling him forward a bit. Buck was a big dog. We don't know exactly what breed he is, but he looked like a Saint Bernard mix. Philip said that Buck reminded him of the dog from Call of the Wild, hence his name. Unlike the dog in the book, however, Buck couldn't be tamed. He was a wild spirit that did whatever he wanted. The only person he remotely listens to is Melody, and half the time he ignores her commands anyway.

"You said a bad word!" Melody gasped, looking up from where she had been tossing bread crumbs. She had decided to join us in our walk around the park. Philip and the others were at the playground. Melody huffed and held her hand out. "That's a dollar for the swear jar!"

"A _whole_ dollar?" Uncle Colton pouted, his brown eyes narrowing. Melody nodded. "That's too much, Melly. Can I give you an IOU?"

"No! Mommy said that if you say a bad word, you put money in the swear jar!"

"I don't see a jar anywhere," Uncle Colton smirked down at my little sister. Melody frowned, her cheeks puffing out adorably, and handed me the bag of bread crumbs. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded envelope with some writing on it. I recognized it as Dad's swirly handwriting and blinked as she unfolded it.

"Sometimes it's the swear _envelope_. Daddy made this for me and told me to be prepared because you say a lot of bad words." Melody grinned proudly as she looked up at Uncle Colton. If I had to describe my sister in simple terms, she's a daddy's girl and a stickler for the rules. It's a miracle Harmony manages to rope her into pranks. I had a feeling that Melody was definitely going to be an actress when she got older. She was always the perfect decoy and our parents never caught on.

Uncle Colton mumbled under his breath as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a one dollar bill. Melody accepted it happily and stuck it neatly in the envelope, which she folded back up and stuffed in her pocket. She grinned and skipped off to the playground, brunette curls bouncing wildly. Her hair was in a strange middle-ground between Mom and Dad's hair color. I shook my head at her and started tossing out food for the birds, knowing that she'd lecture me if I didn't finish the job she had started.

"I can't believe she has a swear jar. Mom has one, too. She makes me put five bucks in it instead of one, so I guess it's not that bad." Uncle Colton shoved a hand into his pocket and sighed, a fond smile coming across his face. I never spent much time with his mother-my biological grandmother. She had always been a bit distant. Aunt Darcy complained that she was "falling back into old habits", whatever that meant. Most of my parents' history was still unknown to me.

I gnawed on my lip in thought. If I was ever going to get any information about my parents, Uncle Colton was my best bet. I didn't want to be so nosy, but it was obvious that something was going on with them. I hadn't seen Mom this stressed before, and I've been around her during tech week. And Dad... It's like he's not even really _here_. Sure, he pays attention to the twins-they'll cry if he doesn't-but aside from that, it's like his head is in the clouds.

"Do you know who James Reynolds is?" I blurted out, looking over at my uncle curiously. His reaction was almost instant. He tensed up, his grip on the leash tightening. His eyes were filled with a fire I had never seen before. My uncle was one of the calmest guys I knew. To see him like this was scary.

"How do you know that name?"

"I... I heard Mom and Dad talking about him. Who is he?" Uncle Colton's jaw twitched as he stared straight ahead. Even Buck was intimidated. He stopped tugging on the leash and walked back over to us, whining quietly. This was getting scary now. I wish I hadn't asked. Why did I have to be so nosy?

"It's not my story to tell, Rachel. Lori and Alexander will tell you when they're ready." Uncle Colton sighed and sat down on a nearby bench. Buck plopped down next to him, his giant tongue hanging out as he panted. I reached into my backpack and pulled out his water bowl, frowning as I filled it up. What was so bad about this James guy that nobody wanted to talk about him? Was he the reason Mom refused to let us read her autobiography? The music room was full of copies of it, but they were off-limits.

"Did he... hurt Mom?" The words felt like acid burning my tongue. How could anyone ever want to hurt my mother? She wouldn't hurt a fly. I ran my hands over my skirt nervously and felt my heart stop as Uncle Colton nodded reluctantly, his eyes sad.

"I wasn't around when he was. But the things he did to Lori... They left a mark, Rach." He handed me Buck's leash and kissed my forehead, saying that he'd be right back. That left me alone with my thoughts. A mark... Was this Reynolds guy the person who gave Mom that burn on her hand? She tried to pass it off as a cooking accident, but it didn't look anything like that. I _know_ what cooking accidents look like. I got at least one a week. Mom's burn looked like someone had held something hot against her skin.

I thought back to some of my mother's nervous habits. She hates loud noises of any kind. She always spent any holiday with fireworks curled up in bed with a cup of hot chocolate and headphones on. Dad would give us sparklers and tell us to play outside while he comforted her. We never got actual fireworks. It didn't bother me much, but I know Philip hates it. Most of the time he goes to hang out with his friends so he can see "real fireworks".

Mom hates Valentine's Day. Doesn't even celebrate it. It's another day that she spends in bed, away from all the festivities. She had me or Philip give Uncle Colton the birthday presents she bought him because she couldn't even bring herself to leave the house. That was one of the few days a year Dad actually took off of work. He was there for her every year. He held her when she had nightmares or cried. I've seen them together some years, Mom sitting on Dad's lap, her face hidden in his shoulder as her body shook with sobs.

Uncle Colton ruffled my hair as he rejoined me on the bench. I smiled at him sadly. I had a million questions, but I knew that he wasn't the person to ask. Like he said, it wasn't his story to tell. I just hoped that Mom would be ready to tell it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello again, my lovelies! This chapter is a bit on the shorter side because I couldn't think of much else to add to it. Part of me wanted to scrap it** ** _because_** **it was so short, but I figured quality over quantity, right lovelies? Hopefully y'all enjoy this chapter even if it is a bit shorter than normal. ~Shaymie**

* * *

 _Alex_

I shook Burr's hand and forced a smile onto my face as he gathered up his papers. He glanced over at Lo, who was curled up on the couch, her head on her knees. She had shut down halfway through the meeting. I wanted to comfort her, but we had to handle business. The sooner we got the restraining order against Reynolds filed, the better. I didn't know if it would actually be of any help (the man was a fucking psychopath, after all- I doubt he'd be willing to follow the law), but Lo insisted on it, saying that it made her feel safer. I couldn't deny her peace of mind.

I went over to my wife the second the door shut behind Burr. I knelt in front of her and grabbed her hands, which were hugging her knees tightly. She didn't even look up at me. I rubbed her knuckles and kissed her forehead with a heavy sigh. I left her alone in the living room and went to the kitchen to make her a cup of tea. I knew that she'd need it.

My hands started trembling as hot tears ran down my face. I wiped at them, shaking my head. Now wasn't the time to cry. There'd be time for that later. My wife was hurting. She needed me. I couldn't break down now. But just thinking about Lo was painful. Remembering what she had been like after that cursed book signing killed me inside. I hated not being able to do anything for her.

I pulled myself together long enough to make Lo a cup of peppermint tea. She said it was one of the most soothing drinks on the planet. I thought it tasted disgusting, but whatever made her happy. I'll do whatever she needs me to if it helps her. She deserves the world, and I'd find a way to give it to her even if it killed me.

I was shocked out of my thoughts by a scream coming from the living room. I set the cup down as quickly as I dared-Lo would kill me if I broke any of her mugs for any reason whatsoever-and rushed back into the room. Lo was clutching a pillow tightly, her face bright red and her chest heaving. Her breath came out in ragged gasps as tears streamed down her face.

"Love-"

"I hate him! I hate him, I hate him, I _hate him_!" she sobbed. She looked up at me, and I felt my heart break. She looked so lost... "I thought I was past everything! A-And then he just showed up out of the blue and it was like I was in fucking high school all over again! I was a fifteen year-old idiot and he was this charming older guy who tried to pin the blame on everyone but himself.

"He blamed me for the shooting. He said he didn't want to hurt me, that he was aiming for you and if I had just stood aside like a... a _good little girl_ I wouldn't have gotten hurt. He's always done shit like that. He'd hurt me and then make it seem like I was in the wrong and I'd fucking _believe_ him because I'm a dumbass! No matter what I do, I'm an idiot! I hate it, Al. I hate that he still has such an effect on me after all these years! Why can't I just... get over it?"

"Shh, love..." I pulled her into a hug, which probably wasn't the best idea. She hated being touched when she was worked up like this. But for whatever reason, she just let herself relax, her body practically going limp. She sobbed into my shoulder, the rest of her words coming out an unintelligible mess. I hated this. I hated that there were some scars I couldn't kiss better. I couldn't help her through this on my own.

"I'm sick of being scared all over again. I'm so tired," she whimpered against my shirt. I rubbed her back gently and hummed soothingly. She looked up at me tearfully. "What if Maria comes back next? I don't think I'll be able to handle it."

Her words tore a hole in my chest. She sounded absolutely terrified. Even now, after all these years, we didn't know exactly _why_ Lo was more terrified of Maria than she was of Reynolds. After all, Reynolds fucking _shot_ her! Surely that's more terrifying than anything Maria could have possibly done to her. She had even been vague about it all in her autobiography.

"I won't let anyone hurt you ever again, love. I swear it."


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello again, my lovelies! This is the chapter you've been waiting for! Maybe. Y'all may hate me for this, but it had to happen. I normally don't do this, but could I maybe hopefully get a review or two on this chapter? It would help my self-confidence so much. Just like, let me know if you love it or hate it. I'll see you lovelies whenever I have stable internet again, which may be awhile. As it is, I had to type this chapter on my phone and use my hotspot to have enough of a connection to post it. I was determine to get this up and I hope you lovelies enjoy it! ~Shaymie**

* * *

 _Philip_

"Philip, are you sure this is a good idea? We could get in trouble for it." Rachel frowned up at me, her eyes anxious and uncertain. She was never one to break the rules, but when I told her what I was going to do she decided to tag along. She even decided to skip out on dance class because of it, though I could tell that the decision had been made a bit late. She was in her dance clothes. I wonder what excuse she gave to leave class early. Aunt Darcy was one of the strictest teachers on the planet.

"Don't you want to know what the deal is with Mom, Rach?" I opened the door to Dad's study, where she had moved all copies of her autobiography. She spent all her free time signing copies to leave at bookstores. I flicked the light on and walked over to the pile of books sitting next to Dad's desk. Rachel gripped the strap of her dance bag nervously as I picked one up and ran a hand over the cover.

" _From Silence to Stardom..._ This book has all the answers to everything we've been wondering about, Rach. We'll know why Mom's so jumpy all the time, why she hates Valentine's Day... We'll finally find out who James Reynolds is! Aren't you excited?" Rachel dropped her bag and shrugged. I sighed and opened the book. I loved my sister, but she was sometimes a bit too much of a goody two-shoes. It wouldn't hurt her to break the rules from time to time. Maybe Bex could help my sister learn how to be a bit of a rebel. She knew all about breaking the rules. I took a deep breath and flipped past all the acknowledgments at the beginning of the book, taking notice of the fact that my name was in it along with my siblings.

" _I was born in a small town in Texas,_ " I started reading aloud from the first chapter. Rachel didn't relax any, but she did at least sit down on one of the armchairs Mom had insisted Dad put in here. My eyebrows furrowed at the rest of the paragraph. " _The first memory I have is of my father hitting my mother. He thought she was cheating on him. He doubted that I was his daughter. The memory of the hatred on his face will forever be burned into my mind. How he could have ever doubted my mother's love for him, I'd never understand. She was hopelessly devoted to him-which wasn't necessarily a good thing. He was an awful man, and those accusations he threw at my mother were only the beginning of his reign of terror._ "

"I don't like this," Rachel whimpered, her eyes filling with tears. "It doesn't sound good... What does she mean by ''the beginning'? Why didn't Grandma Sophia call the police if he hit her?"

I didn't have an answer. I didn't understand, either. Aunt Mandy said that all it took for her to leave her husband was him hitting her once. After that, she packed up Bex and Tucker and came to Dad for help with the divorce. Why couldn't Grandma Sophia do the same? She should have tried to protect Mom. I read everything after that in a daze. Mom talked about how she had been diagnosed with selective mutism and how she felt that her diagnosis drove an even bigger wedge in her parent's relationship. She talked about her father's alcoholism, how she spent nights curled up in her closet begging for it all to be over. And then came the worst part, marked with a trigger warning for sexual abuse. Rachel was as pale as a ghost at this point.

" _Things took a turn for the worst one January evening. My father had gotten the drunkest I'd ever seen him. My mother had stormed out of the house. It was the first time we had ever been alone together. I brought him beers while he complained about Mama and how 'ungrateful' she was and how he was going to hurt her when or if she came back. For once, I had been relieved when I was sent to my room._

" _Everything had been okay for a few hours. There was no yelling or anything being thrown at the wall. I felt relatively safe in my bedroom. That was my mistake. I should have known better than to feel safe. I should have locked my door. He was still drunk hours later. He stumbled into my room and told me that it was a woman's job to pleasure the man in her life-"_

"Stop it!" Rachel screamed, jumping up from her seat. She shook her head and clapped her hands over her ears. "This can't be real! This has to be a nightmare or something! Mom's dad couldn't have..."

"Mom wouldn't lie about something so serious and publish it in her autobiography, Rachel." I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Rachel left the room in tears. I looked down at the book. It was too late to back out now. This would probably be the only time I'd be able to get answers. I wiped away the tears that had escaped and powered through the book, feeling sicker and sicker the more I read. So much awful shit happened to my mother. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve any of it. I started to hate my grandmother. Some parent she was. She didn't even _try_ to protect her child. She threw Mom under the bus to save her own skin.

I spent hours poring over the book. I didn't know how much longer I had until Mom and Dad came home with the kids and I wanted to make as much progress as possible. Who knew when I'd get another chance to read this again? I had just gotten to the part where Mom had been forced into a relationship with James Reynolds and Maria Lewis when I had to take a break. This was too much... It was overwhelming. I had no idea my mom's life was so fucked up. No wonder she wanted to keep it a secret from us. I couldn't imagine going through even half of what she had gone through. How could she even _think_ that she wasn't strong?

I tossed the book into my backpack and left the office. Mom and Dad were bound to come home any second now and I didn't want to get caught red-handed. I dropped my backpack off in my room and went downstairs. Rachel was curled up on the couch, hugging her knees tightly to her chest. Her face was still wet with tears.

"Rachel?" I sat next to her on the couch and put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I read Mom's Wikipedia page," she sobbed and looked up at me. Oh. Maybe that would have been a quicker and easier way to get the answers we wanted. "It's awful! Uncle Colton said that he wasn't around for everything that happened to Mom. He didn't say that she got shot the day he was born!"

"What are you talking about?" I hadn't reached that part of the book yet. Mom had been _shot_? With a gun? Is that the reason she hates fireworks so much, why she's such a huge advocate for gun control? It would make sense. Rachel sniffled and handed me her phone, which was still on Mom's Wikipedia page.

" _On the evening of February 14th, 2018, Hamilton was attending a Valentine's Day dance at her high school when Reynolds crashed the festivities with a firearm. According to several witnesses, he demanded that Hamilton leave the premises with him. When she refused to go with him, he opened fire._ "

"What the fuck? What the _fuck_?" I dropped Rachel's phone on the couch and shook my head. How could any of this be real? This is the type of shit that happens in movies or books, not in real life. Not to my _mother_. How could this world be so messed up? This wasn't right. This wasn't _fair._ Why couldn't bad things happen to _bad_ people?

My head shot up as the front door opened. My younger siblings ran into the house dripping water everywhere. Mom and Dad walked in after them. Dad sighed as he put his umbrella into the rack and picked up the ones AJ and Will had thrown down. Mom hummed quietly to herself as she walked to the linen closet and grabbed some towels. Rachel bit her lip and looked at her anxiously. I shook my head. I knew what she was going to do. She wanted to tell Mom and Dad that we had snooped around.

"I don't need a towel!" Harmony giggled and ducked away from Mom when she tried to hand her a towel. "Will let me have his umbrella!"

"You mean you stole the umbrella," Will huffed and grabbed a towel from Mom. Harmony shrugged and ran to her room. Melody frowned and tried to help Will dry off, standing on her toes to reach his hair. Mom smiled at them and turned to Rachel and I, her smile fading away when she got a good look at us.

"What happened to you two? You look like you've seen a ghost." Rachel sobbed and jumped up from the couch. Mom blinked in confusion as Rachel practically threw herself at her and pulled her into what I'm sure was a bonecrushing hug.

"I'm sorry, Mama... I'm sorry..."


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello again, my lovelies! It's time for another new chapter! I don't really have much to say for this chapter except I hope you enjoy it! Stuff is going to start picking up soon! ~Shaymie**

* * *

 _Rachel_

We shouldn't have snooped. I knew it was wrong. I knew that whatever was in Mom's past had to be bad if she wanted to keep it from us so badly. But I wouldn't have dreamed that it was so _awful_. Suddenly some of the little things I've noticed made sense. The marks that littered her arms were self-harm scars. They were decades old, but some of them were still fairly visible. Those must have been the... deeper ones. And the burn on her hand... I was right about it. It wasn't a cooking accident at all. That Maria woman _burned_ her. How could anyone be so cruel?

The mark on her stomach was a gunshot wound. It was a permanent reminder of what that man had done to her. I understood now why she had gotten a tattoo around it, even though I'd heard that getting tattoos over scar tissue is even more painful than getting a tattoo anywhere else. However painful it was, it couldn't hurt more than getting shot. One of the articles I read said that the bullet had lodged itself in her abdomen. An inch further in either direction and it could have been way worse than how it was. Somehow it didn't make me feel any better.

"What's wrong, ladybug?" Mom asked, awkwardly returning the hug I had enveloped her in. She rubbed my back soothingly, which only made me cry more. I didn't deserve her kindness. Not after I betrayed her trust the way I did. How could my mother be so nice, even after everything she's been through? If I were her, I would have grown to hate the world. I'd despise it, just like how I despise everyone who's ever hurt my mother.

"We read your book," Philip admitted before I could think of a lie to tell Mom. "I know you told us not to, but you've been so different lately... We were just worried about you. I'm sorry, Mom."

"I'm not angry, if that's what you're worried about." Mom smoothed my hair back from my face and kissed my cheek, a sad little smile on her face. Dad dismissed the kids to their rooms and walked into the living room with a heavy sigh. Mom led me to the couch and sat down, motioning for Philip to do the same. I picked at a loose thread in my hoodie nervously when my brother joined me on the couch. Mom wasn't mad at us, but that doesn't mean that she's okay with what we did. I could see it in the way she presented herself. She was stressed out enough without us doing this. Now she just had more to worry about.

"You're not mad at us?" Philip asked hopefully. He was shot down by a glare from Dad. Mom sighed and walked over to him. Her hand on his arm was enough to calm him down. He pulled her closer to him and held her tightly.

"You just wanted answers... Answers that I was too afraid to give you. I should have known you'd go out looking for them yourself. You're my kids after all." Mom wrapped her arms around herself and looked at the ground. "I wanted to keep you away from the terrible truth. I didn't want you to know about my father or James and M-Maria. I know it was selfish of me to hide things from you."

"It was selfish of us to go snooping around!" I huffed, narrowing my eyes at Philip. It had been his idea and somehow he had managed to talk me into doing it too. I had wanted to wait until Mom was ready to tell us. I knew it was an invasion of privacy... Even if the book was out for the world to read. Mom deserved to have _some_ secrets, especially since paparazzi watched her every move.

"Let's agree that we were both selfish, then," Mom murmured with a sniffle. "I'm sure you guys must still have some questions. I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"Why did you stay with Reynolds for so long? He hurt you, Mom! He r- he hurt you," Philip choked out, his eyes filling with tears. "Mom, he hurt you the day he met you! Why didn't you tell Grandpa or the police?"

"I was in a dark place back then. It was right after I almost killed myself and everyone basically had me on suicide watch. I felt like a prisoner. Maddie had invited me to a party and I went partly because I wanted to help him and partly because I wanted to prove to everyone that I wasn't so... fragile. I wanted to prove I could take care of myself.

"I was drunk when I met James. I still don't remember most of it. But he... he told me he loved me, and it was the first time someone had told me that in awhile. Everyone was so busy making sure that I was alive that they didn't take into account how I _felt_. I don't blame them for anything. Watching me was a full-time job. Keeping me alive was the priority. I can't fault them for having tunnel vision.

"After that first night, James was like a different person. He was nicer. He showered me in gifts and praises. He... he made me feel special. But the good times didn't last forever. He started getting more... more volatile and controlling. He didn't want me talking to other men. He said that my only role in life was to please him, and I believed him because I was _stupid_. I was stupid and desperate and lonely. I didn't want him to leave me, so I let him do whatever he wanted."

"Nobody knew?" Philip yelled, jumping up from his seat. I flinched at the sound of his voice. Mom looked at him sadly. "Mom, you can't be serious! Someone had to know! They had to at least suspect something!"

"John had his suspicions. I wasn't great at covering up the bruises and he saw them. And then the bruises turned to black eyes and cuts that weren't made by me. We fought all the time because I wouldn't break up with James. I almost ruined everything because I was so stubborn."

"Why didn't you leave when he cheated on you? That should have been proof enough that you didn't matter to him!"

"Pip-"

"How could you be so stupid, Mom? What the fuck is wrong with you? He _hit_ you! He treated you like shit! Did you seriously think that was normal-" Philip was cut off by a slap from Mom. She was glaring up at up him, tears streaming down her face. I've never seen her look so angry. I've never seen her hit anyone before.

"You have no fucking idea what it was like with him! Day in and day out, I did everything I could to please him! I didn't want him to leave me. I know it was naive. I _know_ it was stupid. Don't you think I know that now? I spent _years_ beating myself up about it. I still have fucking nightmares about everything they did to me! I can't listen to certain songs because they remind me of them! I can't celebrate Valentine's Day with my husband because... because..."

Dad comforted Mom as she broke down, tremors overtaking her body. Dad had to literally hold her up and lead her to the couch across from me. Philip rubbed his cheek and looked at her sadly. Mom was having a panic attack, that much was clear. But I had no idea what to do. I didn't know how to help her. I know she has them from time to time, but Dad or Aunt Darcy always helped her with them.

"Mom, I'm sorry-"

"Go to your room, Philip. Both of you, go to your rooms. You're grounded." Dad was furious. Philip and I glanced at each other nervously and reluctantly followed his orders. There was no way we'd get away with disobeying our parents a second time. I gave Mom a final look before going upstairs.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello again, my lovelies! I'm back with another chapter! I won't say anything about what's coming up, but just know that we're not out of the woods yet. Some stuff's about to go down! Hope you enjoy! ~Shaymie**

* * *

"We have a new student joining us today. Class, meet Theodosia Burr." I looked up from my notebook where I had been doodling flowers and gasped. Sure enough, it was her. I haven't seen her in years, since she started attending some fancy private school in Virginia. Philip had been heartbroken when she left. She came down for visits during the summer, but my brother monopolized all her time. I never got a chance to actually speak to her. What was she doing _here_ , at my school? _Public school_ , no less. One thing I knew about her father was that he was obsessed with her having the best education possible. What could have led to him changing his mind?

The only empty seat in class was next to me. Some of the girls gave Theo a disgusted look when she sat beside me. I tried to ignore them, but the bullying was getting worse. I had a few bruises from them pushing me down. They made sure to push me in a way that I'd get hurt where it wasn't visible. I couldn't understand why they hated me so much. Was it because George kept asking me out, even when I told him I was taken? I didn't know how to get him to stop.

"It's nice to see you again," Theo said with a grin as she settled into her seat. I smiled back. It was nice to finally have a friend in this class. I couldn't deny that I felt a little bit lonely. And maybe if the bullies saw that I had a friend in this class, they might finally leave me alone. It wouldn't protect me from what they did outside of class. They purposefully messed with me when Bex or my family weren't around, and warned me that if I told them, they wouldn't hesitate to turn on them instead.

"I've missed you, Dosia," I admitted, lowering my voice as the teacher started playing Spring Awakening on the TV. We told him that we had already watched it with the substitute, but he doubted that anybody had paid any actual attention. Seeing my mother's face on the screen reminded me of what Philip and I had done. Mom managed to convince Dad to unground us, but that didn't make me feel any better. I wish I had never read any of what I did. I should have just let Mom have her privacy.

"It feels like it's been ages since I've seen you." Theo gestured towards the TV with a mechanical pencil and giggled. "Last time I really got to talk to you, your mom wasn't a movie star and you only had brothers."

We were shushed by the teacher, who peered at us over his glasses. My cheeks flamed at the call out. Theo and I resorted to passing notes. The class flew by, and before I knew it, we were leaving the room together, catching up on everything. I felt my heart break for Theo when she told me that her mother had passed away. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose my mom. A world without her seemed dark and cold.

 _She almost died when her ex shot her,_ my brain cruelly reminded me. She had been in a coma and the doctors didn't even know when or _if_ she would wake up. Even then, there had been paparazzi surrounding her, but that was for a totally different reason. Back then, she was famous for being George Washington's daughter. The shooting had caused a huge scandal. Apparently the Reynolds family was filthy rich. Granddad threatened to sue, but Mom talked him out of it, saying that she didn't want to see James Reynolds' face ever again. It only made the incident at the bookstore that much more awful. I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for Mom having to see that man again, after all these years...

"Are you back in town for good now?" I asked Theo, desperate to get my mind away from such depressing topics. It was all in the past now. Nobody was going to hurt my mother ever again. Dad would make sure of it. I grinned as Theo nodded. It would be nice to have another girl to talk to.

"Yep. Dad wanted to have me in town for my last year before college. I have to admit, I was getting a bit homesick anyway. I missed the noise of the big city." Theo held the front doors of the school open for me and sighed. I looked up at her curiously. I didn't know about much outside the city. The farthest I've traveled is Rhode Island on a field trip with everyone from the studio.

I jumped back as Theo was almost tackled to the ground by Philip. I rolled my eyes as my brother rambled excitedly to his crush and walked over to Bex. My girlfriend pulled me into her arms and kissed me. There was a smile on her face, but I could see in her eyes that something was bothering her. I frowned. Was everyone just going to be keeping secrets from me?

"What's wrong, Bexxy?"

"It's nothing. Just... Tucker's in a bad mood again." Bex sighed and looked over at her brother, who was sitting in their truck in the parking lot. He was sitting behind the steering wheel with his feet on the dash and his eyes on his phone. He didn't seem happy. I wonder what the deal is with him. He normally doesn't let anything bother him. He's one of the most relaxed people I know.

"What happened?"

"He got busted for smoking behind the school. God, you'd think weed would make him chill out a bit more." Bex rolled her eyes and slung her arm around my shoulder. She looked over at Philip and Theo, who were chatting excitedly. "Hey lovebirds, are you coming? We're going to the mall, remember? Wanna come with us, Theo?"

"Sure! Let me just call my dad." Theo disentangled herself from Philip and went to make the call. My brother was grinning stupidly as he walked back over to us. He had an adorable puppy dog crush on Theo. But I'd never understand how he could have messed around with so many people over the summer if he liked her so much. Wouldn't it break her heart if she found out about them?

Bex gave Philip a mischievious grin and pulled him off to the side. I heard her teasing him about asking Theo out and rolled my eyes. I walked over to the truck and got in the backseat, setting my backpack in my lap. Tucker looked back at me, his eyes rimmed with red. Wow, he really had been smoking. I had never been around him when he smoked (Bex always guides me into her room as quickly as possible when I go over), but I've smelled the after-effects of it. It smelled... disgusting. Like a skunk or something.

"Hey, Rach... Took you long enough to get you out here." He stretched and yawned. "What's taking Bex and Pip so long?"

"Theo's back in town and Bex invited her to come with us to the mall. We're waiting for her to get permission from her dad." Tucker nodded and sighed, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. Bex, Philip, and Theo joined us after a few minutes. Unfortunately, I was wedged between Theo and my brother, which meant that I had to deal with them giving each other googly eyes. This was going to be a long car ride...


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello again, my lovelies! It's been a bit since we've seen each other, hasn't it? I'm still stuck with really spotty internet, so updates may be sparse, but I'll hopefully never leave you guys waiting for too long. To make it up to you, I've made this chapter a bit longer than normal. Hopefully you lovelies enjoy! ~Shaymie**

* * *

I had a strange feeling that someone was following us, but every time I turned around, nobody was there. Bex told me I was being paranoid. I couldn't help it. After years of being followed around by paparazzi, I was a bit nervous in public places. They hadn't always been this bad. But ever since Mom had been cast in Spring Awakening all those years ago, she's been in more and more movies. And she's been getting more and more attention.

We stopped for a late lunch at the food court, weighed down by shopping bags. We probably went a bit overboard with shopping. At first, we were just going to get things for Uncle John and Mom's birthdays, but then we realized we also needed things for Halloween. And somehow I ended up stopping by the music store. We spent way more money than we intended to. Thankfully I still had money in my savings after helping out at Uncle Gil's restaurant over the summer, but I don't know about everyone else.

"I can't believe you bought that," Philip grumbled around his hamburger. I scoffed and held my new melodica tightly. The twins had all but claimed my old one for themselves, which I didn't really mind. It was an old thing, after all. Mom had given it to me years ago as a birthday present. It was probably filled with glitter and various other things at this point.

"You can give me a surprise concert sometime, babe." Bex grinned and kissed my cheek. My cheeks flushed. I'd never truly be used to Bex's kisses and snuggles. She was always so warm. I couldn't wait for it to get even colder so we'd have an excuse to cuddle together.

"...Is that thing a keyboard or a recorder?" Theo asked, picking the onions out of her salad. She didn't go nearly as crazy as the rest of us with shopping. The only things she bought were a bunch of books and a new purse. Philip had offered to carry her bags, but she turned him down, saying that he should focus on his own things since he had way more to carry.

I shrugged. I didn't really know what it was either. But it was fun and easy to play. I'd never be as musically talented as my mother. Sure, I could read sheet music and play a little, but I can't compose beautiful music like her or come up with amazing lyrics. She's won awards for the composing she'd done for Uncle John's video games. I couldn't ever dream of comparing.

Philip and I ducked our heads as paparazzi rushed past us loudly with their cameras and microphones, talking excitedly among themselves. I frowned as I heard them say my mother's name. She had mentioned that she had a concert somewhere today as she was giving us our lunch money. Could it be that we had picked the exact mall she was performing at? What were the odds of that?

"Can't those creeps stop following her for two seconds?" Philip grumbled angrily. He's been super protective of Mom ever since we found out about her past. I thought she could take care of herself, but of course he has to play the role of a manly man. I knew Mom wouldn't like it if she knew about the fights I've had to break up between him and George Eacker. And if she knew the way that Eacker looked at me, she would absolutely not like it. Which is why I won't tell her. There's no need to worry her.

"Do you think we'll get free admission into your mom's show? I can tell you want to check on her." Tucker scarfed the rest of his nachos down and grabbed his bags. Philip and I shared a glance and quickly finished our food. Bex warned me to pace myself before I choked. Theo had a disgusted expression on her face as she handed my brother a handful of napkins. We were out of the food court in less than five minutes.

I couldn't shake the sensation of someone following us as we wandered around the mall, looking for Mom's show. She wasn't answering any texts we sent, which meant that we had to look all over the mall. Maybe I was just nervous because I could see the paparazzi rushing around. But every time I turned around, I caught a glimpse of blonde hair somewhere. I clung onto Bex's arm tightly.

By the time we found the bookstore, Mom was doing a soundcheck. There was already an audience gathered watching her, most of which were paparazzi. The makeshift stage was practically surrounded by security guards. I guess it was to be expected, after everything that happened at that book signing. Mom had mentioned that she was going to get a restraining order against James Reynolds, but Dad didn't have much faith that it would do much.

"What are you kids doing here?" Mom's expression brightened when she saw us. She set the microphone in the stand and hopped off the stage, ignoring the complaints of the uptight-looking woman who must be her manager. I've seen her around the house a few times. I had no idea what her name was. She didn't seem like the type for conversation. Mom gasped when she saw Theo with us. "I didn't know you were back in town! Aaron didn't mention anything about it."

"It was a last-minute thing. Dad wanted me to come home for my last year before college," Theo shrugged. Mom pulled her into a tight hug. I know that Mom was really close to Theodosia Sr. I should have known something had happened when she stopped showing up for our parents' monthly Mario Party gatherings. I handed Bex my bags and excused myself to the bathroom.

I wrapped my arms around myself as I made my way to the nearest bathroom, which wasn't anywhere near as close as I wanted it to be. Why was it an escalator ride away? I should have asked Bex to come with me, but I knew that she would have just laughed at me. I just had to suck it up and be brave. I took a deep breath as I approached the bathroom, but was stopped by a large hand on my arm. It was cold, even though I was wearing a fairly thick sweater.

"Excuse me?" I asked, looking up at whoever had grabbed me. I felt the blood drain from my face. This was... James Reynolds. The man who had tortured my mother and made her life a living hell. One glance at his blonde hair told me that he was rhe one who had been following us. I tried to tug my arm out of his grip, but he was at least two feet taller than me and had a ton more muscle.

"You're her daughter," Reynolds mumured. The look in his eyes terrified me. It was almost animalistic. I looked around desperately for mall security or something. "You look just like she did all those years ago. You're just as beautiful."

"Let go of me!"

"Please don't scream, darling. I just want to talk." I shuddered as he ran his hand down my arm. His fingers brushed against my chest briefly. I shook my head furiously and scratched at his face with my free hand. He screamed and let go of my arm. I took the opportunity to run away as fast as I could. I darted into the closest store I could find, which happened to be a comic book store, and bumped into a hard chest. I flinched as a pair of rough hands caught me and tried to fight my way out of them.

"Rachel Michele? What's wrong?" I calmed down at the familiar voice and looked up. Peter Jefferson was staring down at me worriedly. He led me over to a corner that was slightly isolated from the rest of the store and helped me sit down in a beanbag chair. I could feel my entire body trembling. I stammered out a brief explanation of my encounter with James Reynolds.

"H-He's been following us all afternoon, I think." I struggled to keep my voice steady as Peter grabbed his phone. I assumed he was going to text Philip or something. I took deep breaths to try and calm myself down. I was safe. He couldn't hurt me. But he was clearly dangerous. Didn't he have something better to do with his life other than obsess over Mom? It's been decades. And it's not like he has the right to even _think_ about her. Not after everything he's done to my mother.

"I can't believe that creep is allowed to walk freely," Peter scowled and angrily typed into his phone. "Money really can buy everything, but it shouldn't buy somebody's way out of jail. Especially not for someone as awful as James Reynolds."

"He said that I look just like Mom... He _grabbed me_ , PJ. What if he-"

"Stop it. Everything's fine, okay? You don't have to worry about him again." Peter smiled at me and put his phone in his pocket. "I texted Bex and told them what happened. They want you to stay here and lay low for a bit. I guess you're stuck with me now. Can I interest you in some classic literature?"

I rolled my eyes as Peter handed me a stack of comic books. People thought that he had a crush on me because of how nice he was to me, but he was just as gay as I was. I guess birds of a feather truly do flock together. I flipped through the comics absentmindedly, grateful for the distraction. I didn't want to think about what had just happened. I knew if I did, I'd be terrified. I didn't know what to do. If James Reynolds could just spend a ton of money to get out of jail, then how do we get rid of him?


	14. Chapter 14

**Let's just... forget the fact that it's been almost a month since I've updated, shall we lovelies? Times are hard, y'all. And I've been having trouble finding inspiration to write. Until I move into my own place (currently staying with a cousin), I can't guarantee consistent updates. There's just way too much going on in my life right now. But I'll try to update at least once a month? Internet is really crappy right now so I can't promise anything. But anyway, I hope you lovelies enjoy! ~Shaymie**

* * *

 _Lorin_

"I can't believe that you still won't testify against him, Lorin." Thomas scowled as he helped me decorate the studio for Halloween. Darcy was supposed to help me, but she said that she had a doctor's appointment. What for, she wouldn't tell me. But she seemed nervous about it. I was prepared to grill her about it the second she showed up. But for now, I had to deal with Thomas and his questions. I did my best to ignore him, but he was persistent. There was no way he'd leave me alone unless I answered him.

"It's been over twenty years," I sighed as I hung up a fake spiderweb. Thomas kept his hands on my waist as I stepped down from the ladder. "I just don't see the point in it. And he'd just get the best lawyers in the city to defend him. It would be a lose-lose situation. He would get off scot-free and I would just look like some vindictive ex."

"Aaron and Alexander can defend you. Lorin, he won't go away if you don't even try! We still have something we can convict him on! The statute of limitations for ra-"

"There's no point! It's over! The best thing we can do is hope that he abides by the restraining order so I never have to see him again. I'm done dealing with him." I avoided Thomas' gaze as I walked over to the box of decorations. I know he's trying to help. Everyone's been trying to help. But I'm just so _tired_. I'm tired of the endless questions and fussing everyone's been doing. I'm tired of the paparazzi bothering my family. I know it's naive, but I'm hoping that if I leave the issue alone, everyone will just forget about it. Maybe I can find a way to take care of everything without attracting so much media attention. But for now, I just wanted some peace of mind and I want everyone to understand that I need some time to breathe.

"What are you going to do if he finds Rachel again? He could do a lot more than just talk to her next time." His words sent a sick feeling to the pit of my stomach. _He_ could have hurt Rachel. He had plenty of opportunity to. According to her, nobody had been around. Even the idea of my daughter going through just a tiny bit of what I had gone through terrified me. Damn it, why did Thomas have to make _sense_? If I didn't do something about James, he could just keep hurting people. It wasn't safe for him to be free to do whatever he wants. But I couldn't just...

"I'm scared, Thomas. I don't want to see him again. I don't want to face him in court, where there'll be lawyers trying to discredit everything I say. They're already after me for the autobiography." I felt the familiar panic returning, as it always did whenever anything involving James Reynolds came up. It was different this time around though, more numbing and less overwhelming. "I can already see the arguments they'll have. 'She was drunk. Maybe she said yes and forgot she did,' or 'If he's a rapist, why did she date him?'"

"You can't just give up-"

"I'm through talking about this, Thomas. You can either shut up about it or get out of my studio." Thomas stared at me in disgust and stormed out of the building, slamming the door behind him. I felt tears fill my eyes as I stared after him. My legs gave way under me, leaving me a collapsed mess in the streamers covering the floor. Broken sobs forced their way from my throat. I hated this. I wanted to be strong. I didn't want to be that same, pathetic girl I was all those years ago, too afraid to stand up for herself. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't face him again.

I somehow managed to pull myself up to a chair and wrapped my arms around myself. I felt like a faker. How could I be this huge advocate for people standing up against their abusers when I couldn't even practice what I preach? I didn't want to be a huge hypocrite. This would be the final battle... But would it be worth it? There's no guarantee that James will go to jail. There's no guarantee that he'd even get charged with anything. Not after all these years...

" _You know I love you, babe." I stepped away from James when he tried to grab my arm. I was sick of this. If he loved me, then why did he yell at the time? Why did he hit me? Why does he just sit back and watch while Maria does whatever she wants to me? I've seen what real love looks like. Real love is the way George and Martha look at each other. It's when you love your partner and would be willing to anything for them. It's when you surprise them with random gifts just because you feel like it. It's when you refuse to let anything hurt them._

 _...What James and I had wasn't love. I wasn't sure what it was. It can't even be called a partnership. That would imply that we both benefited from this. He's made it perfectly clear that I exist purely for his pleasure. To..._ serve him. _And maybe if I did what he wanted, I would be rewarded. It was sick and disgusting and I should have known better. I should have respected myself more to know that this wasn't good for me. But then again... Did I really deserve better? Maybe this was the Haywood curse._

 _I'm just like my mother. I'm a fucking_ idiot _. How could I not have seen that this was just like what had happened before? History truly did repeat itself. We were doomed to only date horrible men. I could only hope that Darcy had more sense than me. She wasn't scared to defend herself. Hell, she fought all of my playground battles for me when we were kids. There's no way anyone would ever lay a hand on her._

" _Babe, why aren't you saying anything?" James asked, frowning when I started getting dressed. My skin still felt like it was burning from his touch, and not in the good way. I was scared to look in the mirror. I knew I had to be covered in hickeys and bruises. I was sick of having to cover them up. I was sick of having to hide them. I was sick of_ having _them._

" _I can't do this anymore. It's... It's over."_

I snapped back to the present when the doors of the studio opened. The quiet sounds of little footsteps caught my attention, and I found myself looking into Suzy Clement's dark eyes. She was trembling and soaking wet. It must have started raining sometime while I was zoned out. I sprung up from my seat and rushed over to her. I looked out the window to see if maybe her father was here (I had some things I wanted to say to him), but there was nobody outside. Had she come here by herself?

"M-Mrs. Hamilton..." Suzy burst out in tears as I led her to a seat. I found some towels and blankets in a closet and grabbed some of the twins' spare clothes. They spilled things so often I decided it was best to have some clothes here for them. I wasn't sure how well they would fit on her. Even though she was the same age as them, Suzy was tinier than them. She looked up at me as I knelt in front of her. She was dripping water everywhere and I hoped that she didn't get sick.

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

"M-Mommy started yelling at her boyfriend. She told him to stop drinking beer all the time and he got mad. I was scared, so I ran away." Suzy sniffled as I wrapped her hair in a towel. She needed to get dressed in warm clothes, but I wasn't sure how comfortable she would be with a stranger changing her. I set everything in a chair next to her and squeezed her hand.

"Why did you come _here_? You live so far away..." I frowned. If the address I had on record was correct, she didn't exactly live close. I didn't like the idea of a five year-old girl walking around New York on her own, especially not in a storm. Suzy sniffled and looked at the ground.

"You were the only person I could think of that cared about me." The sadness in her voice broke my heart. Did she really have nobody else to go to? I didn't know anything about her mother, but if she didn't even notice her daughter leaving then she must not have been that... attentive. And it was clear that the man dropping her off wasn't her father like I had originally assumed. He must be the boyfriend she mentioned. They didn't seem particularly close anyway. He seemed to treat her like a nuisance.

"Suzy, honey, I need to get you in some clean clothes, okay? Would it be alright if I helped you get cleaned up?" I tried to not let sadness creep into my tone, knowing that she'd pick up on it. Children were insanely attentive. Suzy nodded hesitantly and stood up from the chair. I smiled encouragingly and led her to the showers. I had a bunch of questions I wanted to ask, but those could wait until later. For now, I just wanted to make sure she was okay.


	15. Chapter 15

**What's this, Shaymie actually posting a chapter? I've basically had this chapter finished for awhile, but I couldn't be motivated to edit and really finish it. My life is kinda a mess right now and I honestly don't know when consistent updates will really be back. I won't bore y'all with the boring details because I know you don't really care. I don't know when the next chapter will be posted, but I promise I haven't forgotten about this story! I figured I might as well stop being a lazy, depressed blob and be productive. And today is the perfect day to post a chapter, seeing as our November Hamildrop just dropped. Anyway, that's enough rambling. I hope you lovelies enjoy the chapter and maybe leave a review if you feel like it? ~Shaymie**

* * *

 _Rachel_

"Mom's not going to like this." I frowned at Philip as he bathed his most recent rescue in the bathtub. The dog yipped and wagged its tail, splashing muddy water all over the walls. Philip chuckled and shielded his face with his sleeve. I glared at him. I had just finished cleaning up when my brother rushed through the front door, holding something bundled up tightly in his hoodie. What he had been doing out in a _storm_ , I'd never know. I just hoped that he didn't get sick.

"She's going to love her!" Philip insisted with a roll of his eyes. "You worry too much, Rach! Besides, the worst that'll happen is that she'll make me take her to a shelter."

"I just... don't want to give her anything else to worry about." I was worried about Mom. She's been so busy lately, and now she has to worry about this whole James Reynolds thing... I was terrified. What if he found out where we lived or showed up to the theater after a show? Even worse, he could go to the studio. Granted, Aunt Darcy might kill him if he came anywhere near there. But he could just not care about that. He didn't seem like the kind of person who paid attention to anything that he felt didn't concern him.

"I don't think a dog is going to make her have a heart attack. It's not like she noticed her anyway. Everything will be fine." Philip grinned widely at me. He had a point. Mom didn't even notice him bringing the dog into the house. She had been busy cooking dinner and watching over Suzy Clement, who was spending the night for whatever reason. Mom didn't give much of an explanation as to why she was staying over on a school night. One of the few things my mother was especially strict about was sleepovers.

I left Philip alone with his new dog and went downstairs to the kitchen. Mom was cooking up a storm with Suzy, who was standing on a little stool next to her. She looked at the stove in awe, her dark eyes wide. Mom was smiling encouragingly at her, but something about it seemed... stressed. I wish I could read minds so I knew just what she was thinking about. Was something wrong with Suzy? She did seem a bit protective of her, more so than she did of any other kid at the studio.

"You're a better mommy than my real mommy," I heard Suzy say, her voice practically a whisper. She looked up at Mom shyly, her dark curls bouncing at the movement. "Mommy never cooks like this."

"What do you eat, then?"

"I just eat at school. Sometimes Mommy leaves me money to get stuff for sandwiches. It's okay, though. I know she's always busy working." I could feel my heart break for her. I couldn't imagine having a mother like that. No matter how busy Mom got with work, she always made sure that we had a warm meal, even if it was just something from Uncle Gil's restaurant. I know that there's probably some people who work way more than Mom, but they could at least _try_ to make more time for their kids.

I snuck off to the living room and watched TV with AJ and Melody. Will and Harmony were sat on the floor in front of them doing a puzzle. The only person missing right now was Dad, who was still at work. I don't think he came home at all last night. Philip said that he was probably working on something to get James Reynolds locked up for good, but working all day and all night couldn't be healthy. Dad already didn't sleep much as is. Pulling all-nighters like this sounded terrible.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out hesitantly, almost sure I knew what it was. I don't know how, but somehow Martha Jefferson got ahold of my phone number. Peter swore it wasn't him, and Mary couldn't have done it. Her phone was in the shop (again) and she can't remember phone numbers to save her life. I had no idea how my number had gotten out to Martha, but she passed it along to her friends and they were texting me constantly. They had nothing nice to say, either. I didn't respond or even read the texts, but I saw the previews pop up on my screen. I know the smart thing to do would be to block them, but I didn't want to risk them hating me even more.

I didn't understand why Martha hated me so much. Our parents were friends. I was nothing but nice to her. I was friends with her siblings. Why did she have it out for me? No matter how much I thought about it, I just didn't get it. I don't want anyone to hate me. I know I can't be friends with everyone, but I didn't want there to be such bad blood between us. Although I guess it was kinda one-sided since I didn't have anything against her. I wish I could talk to her without having insults thrown my way every two seconds. I could brush off most of what she said, but some things did manage to get under my skin. Calling someone fat is a childish insult, but I couldn't deny that it got to me sometimes. Especially when I got compared to Bex, who was a twig.

An hour later, we were all seated at the table for dinner. Philip was slipping his puppy tiny bites of chicken. Mom had agreed to let him keep her for now, at least until we could see if she was chipped. I noticed that Suzy was just staring at her plate, her gaze curious. As I watched, her eyes filled with tears. Her cries were soft at first, but they evolved into full-on sobs. As the rest of us stared on in stunned silence, Mom quietly engulfed Suzy in a hug, rubbing her back soothingly.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm sorry...


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi hi, my lovelies! I hope you're still there. It's been a few months since I've updated because my life has been nothing but hectic, but I'm finally in a stable home. I have yet to get internet, but that should hopefully change soon. I don't know how long it's going to take me to get back in the rhythm of things, but I hope you lovelies can hold on a bit longer. Consistent updates will hopefully be coming sometime soon. See you next time! ~Shaymie**

* * *

 _Lorin_

 _I should have known something was wrong the first morning Mama didn't cook breakfast. She had spent all her time in the morning applying makeup to cover her bruises from last night. I didn't know where my father was. I was actually glad he wasn't home. I didn't want to deal with him on my own. I shivered at the memory of his rough hands on my body, the feeling of his beard brushing against my neck. He said he wouldn't hurt Mama if I did what he wanted, but she still woke up with bruises every morning..._

" _Why don't you just grab a Pop Tart or something?" Mama said when I asked her about breakfast. I frowned as a particularly rough bruise was hidden underneath cream-colored concealer. I didn't bother mentioning that she didn't need to bother covering up the bruises. It's not like anybody would see them. My father never let her leave the house except for designated grocery runs, and today wasn't one of those days. I let it slide, though. Maybe she covered them up so that_ she _wouldn't have to see them._

" _Okay... Love you, Mama." I left the bathroom, choking down the bitter disappointment I felt when she didn't tell me she loved me back. She didn't even look away from the mirror. I bit my lip to suppress my tears and went to the kitchen, sighing when I found myself faced with a problem. The box of Pop Tarts was on top of the fridge. I didn't want to bother my mother again, so I decided to handle it myself. I stacked a few thick books onto a chair and pushed it over. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest as I got onto the chair. Even on top of everything, I had to stand on my toes to reach the box. I was almost there-_

 _I blinked as the area around me morphed into something I thought I'd never have to see again. James Reynolds' bedroom. My skin felt like it was crawling just being here. It was clear to me now that this was a dream-or rather, a nightmare- but I couldn't wake up. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. This couldn't be happening. I didn't want to think about him. I wanted to forget him. Why couldn't he just leave me alone?_

" _We were meant to be together, Lorin. I love you." I screamed as his voice started echoing around me and slapped my hands over my ears, but it was no use. I couldn't block out what was in my head. God, I wish I was like Alex. He was able to wake himself up the second he realized he was having a nightmare. Even when I knew I was having a nightmare, my only option was to power through it. I hated it._

" _We weren't meant to be anything! You didn't love me, James! You loved having control!" I shook my head furiously and took deep, calming breaths. It had taken months of therapy for me to realize that. He didn't love me at all. He only thought he did because I did everything he wanted. He hated not knowing where I was at all times and the moment I defected from him, he turned angry and violent._

"Mrs. Hamilton!"

 _How different would my life be if I had stayed with him? Would we have gotten married? Had kids? Would he have made us stay with Maria? God, just thinking about her made me feel sick to my stomach. She had hurt me so much more than James, but for some reason she didn't haunt my dreams nearly as much as he did. In fact, I rarely ever thought about her. She was an afterthought whenever I worried about James. And yet, I could remember everything about her perfectly. That dark hair that was always perfectly curled, the painted red lips that were always twisted in a sadistic smile..._

"Mrs. Hamilton, wake up!" My eyes shot open as a tiny hand shook my shoulder. I found myself staring into dark eyes and pushed my sweaty bangs back from my face with a sigh. I was fine. I was safe. I was at home, where I lived with my loving husband and children. James wasn't here. He couldn't hurt me. I looked at Suzy, who was trembling slightly. I had almost forgotten that she was here. I hadn't been able to get in contact with her mother after dinner, so I had decided to let her spend the night. Sometime during the night, she must have left the twins' room and come to mine.

I forced a smile onto my face and ruffled Suzy's hair. I didn't want her to worry about me, but it looks like it was too late for that. She was staring up at me with wide eyes. I reached around her and grabbed a few tissues from Alex's bedside table to wipe my face. I couldn't break down now. Not in front of her. I had to be strong. God, I wish Alex was here. He promised me he wasn't going to spend any more all-nighters at work anymore.

"I'm fine, sweetie. You don't need to worry about me." I got out of bed even though my body felt like it weighed a ton and I wanted nothing more than to go back to bed. I hadn't even been awake five minutes and I already had a killer headache. A quick look at my phone told me that it was almost five in the morning. I felt awful for waking Suzy up so early just because of a dumb dream. She was already exhausted enough, if how she acted at class was any indication.

"It sounded like you were having a scary nightmare," Suzy frowned as I got out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, grabbing the clothes I had left out for myself last night. I left the door open a crack in case she needed me and got to work on making myself look presentable. I washed my face (god, I looked a mess) and tied my hair up in a bun. I wasn't sure if the studio was going to be open today. I guess it all depends on Darcy. If she feels like working, I might as well come in too. Wait... _Darcy_! She had that doctor's appointment yesterday and I promised to check on her and I completely forgot! I was the worst sister on the planet.

After taking a few minutes to compose myself, I left the bathroom and led Suzy out of the bedroom and towards the stairs. To my surprise, Buck was sitting there waiting for me, his tail wagging excitedly. He must have been kicked out of Philip's room by the new puppy, who I desperately hoped had an owner. I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle two dogs, and I knew for a fact I couldn't say no to Philip when he inevitably asked to keep her.

The doorbell rang when I was halfway down the stairs. I frowned. Who would be coming by _this_ early? Maybe it was Alex coming home and he just forgot his keys, even though a huge part of me doubted that it was. On the rare occasion that he _did_ forget his keys, he never used the doorbell. It was a bit cliche, but he threw pebbles at our bedroom window. He said it was more romantic and discreet. I pushed down the anxiety I was feeling in my chest and made my way to the front door. Suzy hugged my leg tightly as I opened the door.

...The man standing in front of me was not my husband, but he looked awfully similar. He had the same intelligent dark eyes and unruly stubble on his face. But while Alex's hair was a brown so dark it was almost black, this man's hair was a shade lighter. He had a pair of children with him, a boy and a girl, who looked just about as confused as I felt. The man gave a polite bow and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"Is this where Alexander Hamilton lives? I'm, um... James. His brother."


End file.
